My parents, like many other Italian immigrants in the 1950’s, were brave enough to leave their native home and come by boat to Canada in search of a better life.
When I was growing up, I knew we were different and felt like we didn’t fit in. I remember growing up in a predominantly English neighbourhood where all my friends used to love my mother’s Italian cookies, as they would call them, and how I used to love their Duncan Hines cakes. Fast forward to many years when my mother would make Duncan Hines cakes and I would ask for those Italian cookies.
Back then, I didn’t fully understand it, but today, I embrace the experience and feel grateful for having grown up Italian. No matter where we come from, we are all unique and special.
“Meglio vivere un giorno da leone che cento anni da pecora.”
This was my dad’s favourite quote. Literally, it says, “Better to live one day like a lion than a hundred years as a lamb.” It’s better to die a hero than to live like a coward. This is our parents’ story of sacrifice and accomplishment. They always had strong work ethics and did whatever they had to to provide for their families. No matter what hardships they went through, they ignored fear and took action. Take the risk, work hard, take pride in what you do, and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
“Che Dio vi benedica e vi accompagni.”
“May God bless you and may God be with you.”
When it comes to keeping the faith, Italians are mainly Roman Catholic. Growing up Italian meant every room had a crucifix hanging over the door, statues of the Virgin Mary in the yard, and numerous pictures throughout the house of saints like St. Joseph, Padre Pio, and the Last Supper. We said our prayers every morning and night, and went to church every Sunday. This devotion and connection instilled a strong sense of values and faith as our baseline for our morals, traditions, and customs, as well as for being grateful for everything we had. Having faith is about putting your beliefs and trust in a Higher Power.
Mangia! Mangia!
Our food was just as important as our religion. Nothing beats mom’s great home-cooked meals made with lots of amore. The aroma of the holy tomato sauce simmering on a Sunday morning would wake you up and make you go downstairs and take a big crusty piece of bread to dunk into the sauce. Sunday lunch was not only about good food, but a sacred time for getting together with family and friends.
The kitchen was the most important room in the house. Like central station, this was the hub of all the food preparations, social interactions, arguments, gossip, and breaking news updates.
And for the record, Italians like to believe they don’t eat pasta every day. As my father used to say, one day he would eat rigatoni; another day, spaghetti; and the next day, it would be ravioli.
Food is the vehicle for showing love. A typical Italian greeting is, “Hi. How are you? Did you eat?” Most Italians will get offended if you refuse to eat. “Why you no eat? You no love me?”
La Famiglia
The family is the core of the Italian experience and the foundation for the Italian culture.
Close-knit connections create and maintain a strong, loyal and supportive family.
This is where respect is taught, especially for the elderly. And you would never show up empty-handed at someone’s home. We were taught manners and whenever we went to visit anyone, my dad always used to tell us to stay with two feet in one shoe, meaning you better stay put and behave.
Nonno took great care and pride in keeping the garden, and Nonna kept the daycare for the grandchildren. They had important active roles in raising the family and keeping it together. They taught us to be generous and to share. They also taught us the importance of keeping traditions alive and how to honour the important things in life, from making tomato sauce and wine to celebrating life’s cherished moments, special events and occasions.
As a bonus, my parents came from Calabria, where they are notoriously known for being hard-headed. Like any other superpower, when used properly, it can yield great results. When you know what you want, you stick to your decision and persevere. As long as you put up a good fight and never give up, determination and persistence will help you succeed.
Passion and Beauty
Growing up Italian taught me to love life and to see beauty in everything.
Be passionate about whatever you do and appreciate everything and everyone around you. It’s no wonder the Italians are known, not only for their food, but also for their music, art, culture, opera, architecture, design and fashion.
Work hard and learn how to relax with no guilt. Enjoy life and all the simple things.
Dolce Far Niente is an Italian phrase meaning the sweetness of doing nothing, similar to the concept of mindfulness. Slow down, enjoy whatever you are doing, and live in the present moment. Whether it’s getting dressed up and going for a passiggiata ( a leisurely stroll ), drinking an espresso, or eating pizza, take the time to live la dolce vita! It’s all about quality time and simplicity.
Time to bring back some good old-fashioned virtues to this modern world.
Commitment, responsibility, courage, kindness, respect, common sense, patience, integrity, and gratitude to name a few virtues, form the foundation for living a good life, as we gain gifts and strength from developing the true potential of our heart, mind and soul.
At the end of the day, the greatest virtue of all is love; it creates loving families, builds special relationships and bonds, and develops both inner peace and peace around the world.
That’s AMORE!!!
“Mangie bene, ridi speso, ama molto.”
“Eat well, laugh often, love much.”
And, by the way, to my American cousins, it’s sauce, not gravy!!!
Antoinette Giacobbe
